Experiment: How long is your life, by far, in words?
Posted by: anothermamasboy on: November 7, 2011
- In: Experiment | Mindset | the way
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… be a phoenix, burn to ashes and rise, rise up again …
Do you feel like having some private fun today? This is the kind of fun you can have alone, using mostly your mind, a bit of your hand, either left or right, better in lying position, best in a quiet undisturbed environment. The duration of this kind of fun may vary, from a few minutes up to a few hours. It should involve a lot of other people, not real, but in your mind only, many of them should be of the opposite gender.
No, not that kind of fun! Don’t get so worked up, not so fast, not just yet. This is the kind of fun you can have without having to take off your clothes, and it is better that you don’t. It may have some impacts on your life too, on your level of happiness and your general well-being as well. It may not leave you desensitized with loads of short-lived pleasure, it may even leave you lying pathetically in pain, in tears or depression. But it is still fun, anyway. Or at least that is how I felt afterwards.
No more beating around the bush, what is this? It is a fun experiment called “How long is your life, by far, in words?”
My experiment took me nearly two hours of just lying there, paralyzed, talking, laughing and crying to myself. Told ya, it could seem pathetic, but didn’t I say it should be a private fun, rather than the many-some you may have elsewhere?
Items you need: a seemingly normal functional mind, a recorder that can record up to hours and a really relaxing and tranquil environment. Those are the basic requirement, but you may want some alcohol if you happen to have an extremely stubborn unruly mind which most of us own (in fact, for many, our minds OWN us). You may want some old old music which you used to sing to, which is able to bring you down to the deepest level of sentiments you never knew you had. That seems a lot, but the main goal is to make you open up to yourself, which is the prerequisite for the utmost requirement: to be honest with yourself.
What to do: set yourself up in the environment that fits you best, dim the light or turn it off if necessary, apply some aromatherapeutic fragrance if you want. Do stay in your most comfortable posture, take a few sips of your favorite alcohol, smoke a puff or two if that helps too. Now, if you feel you can be almost totally open and honest with yourself, then:
START RECOUNTING ALL THE MEMORIES YOU CAN REMEMBER SINCE YOU WERE BORN!
That means every single events or happenings that managed to get registered to your mind and you could recall then. Yes, use languages and start talking to the recorder, no hesitation, no embarrassment and of course, no self-censorship.
Admittedly, languages might not be the best means of communication. But still, while telepathy has not yet been proved commercializable or the Big Brother doesn’t like his little brothers realizing their brotherhood without him knowing and intervening, then languages are our only bet. Talk in any languages you like, I myself speak a colorful mix of languages with different shades of meanings and even profanity. I am being honest with myself, are you?
As mentioned, this whole thing took me nearly two hours, but the experiment is still going on, and this post might be a part of it, as I am sharing some of my findings. This could be an ongoing experiment for the rest of your life, as you listen to your stories at times and figure out something interesting you didn’t get the last time. Or you can always add in something you just recovered lately. For me, that would be about a teacher in my fifth grade. I forgot to mention in my first recording, but I got to recall my thoughts about her a bit later. She was our teacher in our for-gifted-students literature class and my thoughts were mostly about how HOT she was. She was very fair with her long dark hair, big black eyes and a marvelously curved body.. Yes, I was in 5th grade and that is one of the teachers that left some marks in my mind… I am being honest with myself, are you?
It may take you more or less time to finish, but make sure that you finish it, The duration of the recording only indicates 1/ how fast you recall memories, 2/ how fast you speak, 3/ how old you are, 4/ how much you can recall at the first run, or 5/ how much more you should drink..
I do believe in the ability of the mind to distort and confabulate, so I regret that I only get to do this experiment when I am this old already, when pretty much all of my memories may have probably been somehow altered to fit the definition of my”self”. Or rather, your mind may deliberately recall some memories that confirm your conception of yourself. That is so nasty, right?! Yes, I know. But do it and you will always figure out something that astounds your view of yourself and the world.
As for many Near-Death-Experiencers, who managed to come back and tell us what it is like to die, even for a short while, many of them say that their whole lives played to them like a movie, or a stream of events. Why don’t we try to die right now, leaving everything at the doorstep, going in to our own funeral, dying to our own experiences and memories, and better yet, rising up afresh and anew?
Better yet, we can still bring all the findings that we have found during the our “deaths”, and go on to live our life better-guidedly, knowing that our real deaths might not be so far away that we have to pretend to die. Furthermore, die, die to all your experiences and conditions, free yourself of your familiar and be excited that when this night is over, the day is new, and your life is anew.
To me, things that happened to me when I was little seemed only like fragments of memories as they were seemingly random, had no clear theme or any apparent meanings. But, do pay attention to the underlying emotions that they carry. They tend to be innocent, strong and full of bliss and happiness.
Curse adults or anyone that started telling you how miserable your life was, cos to a child being alive is the best. If you have a conventionally normal body and can run around waving your arms in the air foolishly, then you are very lucky already. While you are doing that, you have adults, preferably your parents, around, cheering fanatically, then you are one of the luckier children on earth already. If no one comes to you and tells you that you should be feeling like shit because of this, of that, then consider yourself born to be lucky. And if you have the wisdom to tell anyone that comes your way talking shit about your life to go fuck themselves, and live your life the way you want to, not the way they want you to, then you have truly earned the certificate of “fully truthfully madly deeply living” that shows by a bright smile at your real death. That applies to everyone actually, not just children. Need help finding reasons why you should be happy in life?
Memories start to be more coherent coming to secondary school and afterwards. You still don’t make sense of life that well, and oblivion of your circumstances still helps. “Ignorance is bliss”, so they say. Appearances, yours and others, did not matter much then, even after feelings for girls had started knocking on your virgin heart. Friendships formed naturally and without any calculations. For many guys my age then, watching porn and reading erotic stories were favorite pastimes, and sexual exploration was one of the best topics for a bunch of guys to talk about. Adolescent rebelliousness was mild but it was there with all the silly things I did, not alone, and I apparently lived, then, without too much regards for tomorrow.
That was also when my mind started getting contaminated with mainstream media and entertainment. Romanticism, one of the diseases, caught hold of me and I am not free of it, until now. A few years before, only your parents tried to tell you how to behave, and then, it seemed a lot more wanted to tell you how to live your life. In high school, you slowly bought in to different theories and beliefs, without realizing it. The closer you felt you were to the adult life the child in you had always wanted, the faster it was for you to lose track of your freedom and who you were or were becoming. But of course those were never your concerns then…
Have you noticed how little I have mentioned education in this post, even though I am using different levels of schooling as milestones? Yes, you go to school and most of what you learn is about life, I reckon that a school system fails if it does not teach students about life and how to live…
That just means you will have to teach yourself that, and perhaps it is better that way, that we should all learn to be responsible for our own lives and how to live them. We are taught to do our many things well, but not living a life wholly and well, as if life can be broken up into small parts and dealing with each part well is gonna give a wholesomely good whole life. It does not work that way, does it? It is not like a six-course meal, whereby you can choose to pass up a dish or two. In life, a passing-up is partially suicidal, which ultimately begs the question: “why____________already?”
Apart from the good fun I had from recounting my memories, I got to be true to myself, had all the laugh and cry I had not had in a long time, and managed to make some analyses on my life too. I saw some of the patterns that could constitute a “self” for me, I saw some natural behaviors which came out of no where, I saw how some external factors may have conditioned me to act somehow…
I saw how little freewill we really have and how necessary it is to will our lives back to us. I also learned that there are small things that happened a long time ago which could haunt you for life, and you feel like working your whole life to redeem yourself. I also learned to connect the dots which made all the noise about life planning or career planning seem like a joke. It’s life, you know..
Most of all, I have learned that in order to fully live, you will have to die. Die to your past, die to your future, then you will live..
Làm đầy khoảng đen bằng hơi ấm…
Posted by: anothermamasboy on: July 19, 2011
- In: Poem
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Trong buồn ngoài nắng chói chang
Ngoài ồn trong tĩnh chẳng màng cái chi
Li ti thân phận li ti
Biển bờ hạt cát tỷ tỷ đếm chăng
Thăng hoa một chút vậy thôi
Vụt lên rồi tắt chói rồi lại đen
Chen vô đôi điểm sáng loà
Sao kia đã chết hồn hoà vào đây
Tây Đông vốn một cách chia
Chia rồi chia mãi thêm chia giống loài
Hoài thế hoài mong hoài thương
Mơ thế giới này vô thường, tình yêu!
The Idea virus
Posted by: anothermamasboy on: July 15, 2011
- In: Mindset | Uncategorized
- 1 Comment
The Idea virus
And its plague on humankind
As narrated by someone who’s been there, done that, who has been deeply afflicted by the virus and somewhat partially cured…
Let’s start by wiki “virus” up, shall we?
A virus is a small infectious agent that can replicate only inside the living cells of organisms. Most viruses are too small to be seen directly.
No wonders we could categorize “Ideas” as a kind of virus. They are strongly infectious, or rather, contagious, in a disastrous way. They probably don’t fancy living and replicating themselves in rocks or other inanimate objects, as we can tell, although no one has tried talking to a pebble and officially report on this yet. “Ideas” seem to take a liking in human beings, apparently because they keep throwing “light bulbs” around all the time. One of the many possible reasons why that is seems to lie in the fact that men love telling themselves they’ve got a mind that’s of paramount complexity and significance. That actually sounds like the mother Idea virus of all.
Moreover, do you see Ideas flying around? I mean, do you actually see them? Or do you actually see light bulbs crawling out of someone’s ears when she fires away her Idea machinegun? Ok, you may see her eyes lit up, but that doesn’t count, does it?! Point proven, you don’t directly see these “Idea viruses”, period. Now we’ve got ourselves a virus to start with.
How did I know I was infected with this seemingly awesome virus? Easy enough, I would say any homo sapiens that moves harbors this virus. I guess I was, and maybe still am, one of those more severely afflicted, it helped me find HELL. It is hell when one is torn inside with so many thoughts, conflicting Ideas, wants and desires. That reminds me of an ancient capital punishment of having horses galloping in different directions pulling out one’s limbs. One probably won’t keep breathing too long afterwards to savor the extreme physical pain. Imagine that being done to your mind, and be reminded that your mind and your body will still be alive to relish every painful moment. A good thing to know is that you may also have the chance to realize the truthful non-existence of time, one moment of suffering feels like forever… Yep, that is hell, one extreme form of the “Idea disease” (if you are currently more curious about other forms of hell, rather than this Idea thingy, I will let you know when I get there ok 
Hell is fine; it is actually a relatively nice place to be, compared to having the virus running rampant around with a “new great Idea”. While hell is simply individually hellish, what is real unholy is Idealism, which may as well make hell manifest on earth. A mild case of Idealism is still individualistic, harming only the host in her lifestyle and way of mind. A rather severe case may involve millions of people, bringing traumas to billions of people. The worst case could be the total annihilation of mankind! But that does not seem to have happened; perhaps the virus would not wish for the extinction of its host species. In the past century alone, there are quite a number of severe case examples for us to observe, just look at National Socialism in Germany or Communism and their horrible practices. Capitalism is undoubtedly not doing much better, there are already some evident symptoms, yet the real traumatic effects are to be seen. Once the virus has injected its “ism” into something with its tentacles of beliefs and assumptions, the notion becomes fanciful, yet very dangerous, something that takes hold of a person, who has been afflicted with the abovementioned mother Idea to begin with, and will hardly ever let go.
But how does it work, how does this Idea virus seize up mankind, one member after another, and slowly ruin our planet via its destructive tendency? Let’s discuss more deeply the mother Idea. Yep, it is one hell of a motherfucker Idea to have. Think of the biblical “forbidden fruit” apple, the symbol for knowledge, immortality, temptation, the fall of man into sin, and sin itself; there you have a version of the mother Idea. That is just an analogy, not that I am actually buying into any religions, as they seem the first-generation children of the mother Idea. Nonetheless, I still yield to certain pieces of wisdom that could be found in different religions as they could provide a glimpse at the nature of this world we are in. This mother Idea is so cancerous, since the moment it was brought into this world, or more precisely, when it started penetrating the infantile human minds, it has never stopped breeding and replicating itself. Its aim seems to be purely expansive, feeding on the “Id” animalistic instincts of human beings. After thousands of years, the human minds, still being in its infantile stage, easily fall in love with anything that could provide temporary escape routes from fear, one of the primary drives of the Id.
The Id, as recognized by Sigmund Freud, comprises the unorganized part of the personality structure that contains the basic drives. The Id acts according to the “pleasure principle”, seeking to avoid pain or unpleasure aroused by increases in instinctual tension. It is by definition unconscious, now assisted with the additional thought faculty that is hijacked by the mother virus, becomes so powerful that its drives override many other functions, which are harmonious and loving in nature. The so-called progress of human race largely depends on the two inventions (who, or what invented them?) of language and tools. Pessimistically viewed, once we have become too dependent on the tools merely to satisfy the Id drives, what this civilization does mostly is using languages and tools in order to achieve uncontrolled growth and make more and better tools. Interestingly enough, as the mother Idea virus goes, human beings love so much the model of its mind, creating tools that gradually converge to an artificial mind, slowly getting owned by their own tools.
On the other hand, human beings are social animals, hence the emergence of languages, which also are means of transmitting for Ideas. Via transmission, the Idea virus gets more and more dangerous, since the human minds are not made from one clay mold, when an Idea gets to a new mind, it is interpreted differently from how the origin mind sends it. This goes on and on, creating as many variations of the virus as the infected human minds in operations in society. How does the Idea virus take roots in the human minds? Through a sophisticated social behavior called “Identity”, whereby one, inadvertently or knowingly, accepts the Idea of how/what/who she is and should be in a social setting. Depending on the degree of complexity of the society, one may have many Identities, indicating the spawning of the virus in her. There are some who are more severely affected than others. They are called “Idealists”, in whom one particular Idea may get exceedingly potent that it drives out most others, claiming monopoly over the minds. Generally speaking, Idealists feel extremely strong love for an Idea of something, whereas that “something” is supposed the subject they “think” they love. The ironic situation is that Idealists do not actually know or possess that “something” in real life; they probably will not even recognize it when they see one. Yet they proclaim love for it! They are tricked into loving the Idea too much, not the subject itself. For example, utopians love the Idea of a world of perfect happiness and fulfillment, but they never know it. There is a possibility such a world is not what they can conceive of or really want, while the current state of this world is so full of misery that misery and suffering are what people need to make sense of the world…
One may ask, is there any ways you can get rid of the virus or cure its disease? This account of the epidemic is just to raise one’s awareness; to rid oneself of the virus is one’s own choice. I am not certain whether it is possible one is totally free of the virus. Perhaps there are some, the enlightened ones. I am also unsure what the benefits of being Idea-free are, but one should not care, because the desire to chase after benefits defeats the purpose already. If one seeks the truth, the red pill, the reality of this life, then one makes up her mind and goes all-out on this pathless way. That’s it.
However, I know of one remedy, quite simple but not so easy to follow. Keep telling yourself “I’ve no Idea”. Don’t just keep it to yourself, tell it to the world, and admit it in your heart “I’ve no Idea”. That is like teaching your childish mind the only thing it needs to know, and slowly rooting out the mother Idea virus. It might be time we conceded that we are not, perhaps not yet, equipped to perceive and understand everything. It is humility that is the beginning of true knowledge and real intelligence.
At the end of the day, this is just an Idea, anyway…
PS: In the course of writing this post, I felt compelled to watch “Inception” again and was surprised to find out the Idea of this post was in fact planted in my mind long ago, without my conscious acknowledgement:
COBB: What is the most resilient parasite? A bacteria? A virus? An intestinal worm?
ARTHUR: Uh… What Mr. Cobb is trying to say
COBB: An Idea. Resilient. Highly contagious. Once an Idea has taken hold of the brain, it’s almost impossible to eradicate. An Idea that is fully formed, fully understood, that sticks. Right in there somewhere…
My try at summarizing “Inception” in one sentence: “Watch out, Ideas are being injected right into YOUR DREAMS!!!”
The Last Lecture.The First Step
Posted by: anothermamasboy on: April 18, 2010
- In: Buddhism | CS3216 | Mindset | the way
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And it seems I am not going deeper into software engineering, at least for a while to come.
“Knowing what you cannot do is more important than knowing what you can do.”
- Lucille Ball
Fortunately or not, what I have learnt from CS3216 is more of what I cannot do than what I can do. That is of some importance in a way. One thing I try to do at all time is do something with a goal of getting or learning something out of it. This time, I can assert that I have also learnt a number of things from CS3216.
Getting things into a perspective, CS3216e coincides with a turmoil but transforming time of my life.
That is when I am leaning towards Buddhism. Following closely my steps, and recounting the past various encounters and thinkings, I just realize how naturally I was drawn to Buddhism. For many, a religion is not a choice, but one of the many things they are fed by the immediate surrounding environment. I have been fortunate enough to have a certain amount of freedom and to exercise that freedom to select the religion of my choice.
On freedom, most people do not know or are not courageous enough to realize how free they actually are. Some say “IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING” all the time but their actions just pronounce “BUTs”. Generally speaking, even in the most restricted scenario, people still have a choice. Exercising making a decision is sometime less relevant than admitting that there is always more than one option in most cases. However, like all other things, freedom has its downside.
The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.
- David Russell
One of the main reasons why people are so fond of talking about freedom and CHOOSing not to exercise it is simply because it is HARD. It takes great efforts finding out what to do with that freedom. Freedom is something people are born with and let be taken away with full consent and no awareness. What’s more, why bother being free and confused while one can take the paths traveled and proven to be leading somewhere? At the end of the day, it still looks like the exercising of the freedom to choose anyway. Remember this one thing, just live so that you won’t regret.
Back to religions, I have actively studied different religions and I am confident to say that I have chosen Buddhism to study deeper and to integrate into my life. That is my choice with regards to the principles and the set of values that I will be living my life with. Buddhism is one religion which is not dogmatic. It is so Eastern in nature that it stresses on flexibility and the ability of the followers to re-examine the teachings for themselves, which is actually the best way to understand and incorporate the spiritual teachings in their lives.
It is a life of giving, love and wisdom.
Done with filling you in on the most salient contextual information, only a few know that I went to the introduction session of CS3216 in its first year in NUS. I was a freshman then, considered taking it but obviously I did not. Trying to recall why it did not happen, I only remembered that I was very impressed by the professor, the same way I am by him now. Comparing how immature I was and how less immature I am now, one thing is certain, Ben is an inspiring professor, in many ways. I am wondering whether I should have an entry on him but maybe not now, otherwise, it would just look like a last-minute ingratiating effort to earn extra credits. I will still need time for the after-effects to manifest themselves anyway..
Hmm, let’s see, I suppose I did not go for it two years ago was because I had so many other things to choose from. I remember taking a level 4000 Arts module that same semester, a Theater Study module that almost got me acting in a Chinese Drama. Haha. This time around, after having tried many things to find out which works and which does not, there was not much to expect from NUS and Cs3216 was definitely one of the better and more promising modules. I signed up hoping to learn about software engineering as web applications, to me, seemed the easier access to successful entrepreneurship.
Lesson 1. That is not the case, at least for me. There are many paths to success and software engineering simply doesn’t really work for me. Agreed that it is an emerging industry and a rising tide lifts all boats, I just don’t have the necessary and sufficient aptitude and interest to follow it. Moreover, you just cannot force it doing something you don’t really feel drawn to. Pardon me, I know many can and they do it very well though. It is just me, can’t lie myself into trying to attain something I know I don’t want in the first place. Maybe I was over-exercising the freedom to choose but I felt pain, bodily and mental, forcing myself. I just could not force it.
That is not to say that CS3216 has not been rewarding. I think the lessons I have learnt may differ quite starkly with others’.
Lesson 2. I learnt that there are people out there who are really keen on living their lives to the fullest by dreaming and actually committing to doing it. I am glad many of them have found other like-minded people and created their own support groups that would help them maintain the energy and the courage to keep on living that way. Not exactly my crowd but I definitely enjoyed the entrepreneurial spirit of the class.
Trying to keep the number of lessons at the magic number three, my third lesson is as follows:
Lesson 3. One man cannot do right in one department of life whilst he is occupied in doing wrong in any other department. Life is one indivisible whole _ Gandhi.
The dark side of many web start-ups is that they focus to capitalize on the human vices. For example, a game that lets people compete and sabotage other people to feel good about themselves. Who am I to judge?! I hope I am not doing that, passing judgments. What I am trying to say here is that promoting human vices just does not go well with my value system.
Just to share with you, to be honest, I am skeptical of capitalism and think that it is a sure way that leads to destruction. It is a vicious cycle we are in that may eventually take us to total collapse if it is to continue. The whole system is fueled with human greed and to me, it is not justifiable to keep citing growth and progress as the excuses to playing on people’s vices. The world could become a better place! For now, there is yet a reasonable and acceptable alternative to capitalism. Even if there were, it would be a hard struggle fighting with the forces of status quo and would do anything to hang onto their wealth and power.
I see the applications that are created as outlets for people to express their vices through seemingly harmless behaviours as unproductive and potentially harmful in the long run. The vices ought to be sought, understood and restricted by people instead. They cannot be eradicated but they can be contained. What many are doing is giving them a chance to grow within one and spread within her community. It is the little things that give people away..
You may say I am just complicating the whole thing or I am just not realistic enough to do business. But, for one moment, let me be idealistic and talk Utopian.
I won’t be avoiding doing that kind of thing given a chance. Why avoid while what I want is to take an Approach approach and try to do things that allow the flow of positive virtues to go into not only my life but also others. Wishful thinking perhaps, what I think needed is discipline and a lot of efforts.
Hmm, discipline and effort are two of the many prerequisites of success. I am going to program them into my life, and it is going to be tangible.
It is going to be a life changing program and it won’t be long til it is up. Stay tuned if you are curious.
The one thing CS3216 teaches me that is changing my life: JUST DO IT!!!
Three key takeaways. I admit I have not done much, but at least I have done some thinking. Now it is the turn for DOING, and we will see how practical and real the lessons may be..
Live as if you were living a second time, and as though you had acted wrongly the first time.
Viktor E. Frankl
The life of an underdog (a CS3216 post)
Posted by: anothermamasboy on: April 12, 2010
- In: CS3216 | Mindset | on the edge | the way
- 3 Comments
(…that always aspires to become a top dog)
This is one of the lessons I have learned from CS3216. It of course is not a part of the curriculum, but so long as one is still humble and willing enough to learn, she will always be able to find things to learn from in everyday’s life.
Especially as a true underdog, you must learn non-stop from whatever you encounter in your daily life.
What is it about being an underdog that is worth writing about?
You may not know unless you are one.
An underdog is not just one who is looked at as a loser-to-be. People are generally in favor of underdogs. With their unlimited capacity of compassion, they have pity for the underdogs as they seem to be fighting a losing battle. But real underdogs don’t think of battles, they think of war. They are willing to lose a few battles, in order to win the ultimate war. I hardly think in terms of winner as life, to me, is not a race but a journey and sprinting through it doesn’t seem the ideal way of life. But the moment I enlist myself as an underdog, I sign up for a race, one of the many that I want for my life.
One of the many reasons why people favor underdogs is that because subconsciously, they want to think the underdogs are just as weak and pathetic as they are. But they are just witnesses whereas the underdogs are out there, really risking their lives, reputation or anything in their possessions in a race. Moreover, people unconsciously admire the underdogs that have the courage to ‘just do it’, to try their best doing what they believe in, all the while knowing too well the high likelihood of failing.
One only becomes an underdog by deliberately choosing to partake in a race, in order to accomplish a predetermined mission which is greater than oneself. Most people are not, since they passively take part in a rat race that eventually gives them little of real value, winning or losing. Choosing to be an underdog means accepting the inferior position in the first place and always wanting to become the top dog, knowing that people will only follow a top dog, and a top dog is to lead people to a place better than they are now. People favor underdogs but they will only follow the top dogs.
Never cease being an underdog, nothing is better a challenge. Once you have become a top dog, the new task emerges to find the new race where you can be an underdog again, in the race of a cause that you really believe in. You know there is a race out there that you need to be ridiculed for being an underdog in. For most, one such race for a lifetime might be sufficient. And it does not matter whether they make it to be the top dog at the end of the day. So long as they stay in the race, trying with all they have, acutely aware where they are going and what they are racing for, they will experience the thrill of being alive and the meaning of living, altogether at once.
Nonetheless, as a matter of fact, not everyone wants to live life that way.
That is why we have witnesses who constantly feel an urge to support the underdog. Because deep down inside, they know the underdog is admirable. When the underdog falls down, the crowd may shed tears of empathy and give ‘told-you-so’ or ‘should-have’ comments. In contrast, the underdog, knowing too well a failure is never one unless she gives up on a race for which she herself sets the finishing line, regains her balance and leaps forwards while the crowd is not finished pitying her.
Life is about choice. Only few are born top dogs. And the top dogs that are not prepared and willing to take the underdog position once in a while will not stay a top dog for long. It all boils down to the choice one has to make, to live as an underdog or to be standing in the crowd.
Even if one has made the decision to live an underdog life, it is just a beginning. The next decision is to determine the race and its finishing line. It’d be awesome if you have ‘the callings’, which are innate and intuitive. Oh yes, you are the chosen one!!! Otherwise, as a saying goes, ‘If you throw enough shit at a wall, some will stick’, just throw lots of shit, find which sticks, then JUST DO IT.
PS: The Last Lecture came in between during the process of drafting this post. The lessons from it will come in another post since I can’t recollect them now anyway…
The greatest ever-green idea ever: JUST DO IT!!!
Posted by: anothermamasboy on: April 7, 2010
- In: Mindset | the way
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(Disclaimer: this post has nothing to do with Nike, although I wouldn’t mind being paid using its slogan as an advertising effort 
It is just about the so-called idea that changes the world by ceasing to be merely an idea)
It all starts with some dull guy screaming “why don’t we JUST DO IT?” Oh, it is just him dreaming out loud, we may say. Or is it he really LIVING HIS LIFE and we are just witnessing and giving intelligent comments, as usual?
Oh, it might not about intelligence after all. But what are we talking about here? The secret of success or the secret of REALLY living a life? Intelligence is very likely the answer to neither.
Should I talk about the problems of not-so-intelligent people? Hmm, that sounds fine, I can do an excellent job of it. But too many are doing that already. Remember how you tell yourself how stupid you were receiving a bad grade in school? Even if you don’t, then someone else will remind you of your stupidity with a big smile. I thought of describing some of my own problems but would refrain from doing so since it would reveal some truths I have not the courage to accept. One of such is as simple as how unintelligent I truly am…
Therefore, I reckon I shall just continue with what I initially started off with. I might as well just do it, right?!
Yes, just fucking do it already.
When you no longer care about what your neighbors say about you, then you are halfway to success already.
When you are done thinking and trying things, then just doing it is the only way to go on!!! No excuses!!! No regrets!!! No asking for permissions!!!
Your choice, living life or passing by???
Notice I have not mentioned the possible outcomes that a rational one should consider before embarking on an endeavor? Who cares?!
Enough said, JUST DO IT already!!!!
(Can’t believe I actually spent three years contemplating this post and two weeks drafting it…)
When all it takes is JUST DO IT!!!
Grades, Scholarships and, erm, what sh*t?
Posted by: anothermamasboy on: March 17, 2010
- In: CS3216 | Mindset | on the edge | Poem | the way
- 8 Comments
A short, interesting and rather necessary one-hour lecture on Grades, Scholarships and Meritocracy kinda intrigues me to write more than anything else I am struggling with in my mind. This could well be the introduction to my report on Passion for my Management module. Two birds with one stone, sweeettt!!!
But what does Passion have to do with this anyway?
But what is ‘this’ anyway? Oh, it is a random ad hoc lecture we had after a technical presentation that I found nothing to appreciate but the knowledge of the presenter. He surely knew his stuff well. The truth is that I was exhausted after a long day that I only managed to read up a bit on the case I had to prepare for a class the next day during the dry presentation. Sadly, the case was not less dry than the presentation.
I came alive again only during the random lecture that I did not even intend to stay for. Ok, the topic was somewhat relevant and what was presented was somewhat informative. Recollecting my thoughts after the discussion, along with the reading and thinking I have done on Passion lately, I just come to a simple conclusion, which prof Ben also shared, in a sense:
http://www.ted.com/talks/gary_vaynerchuk_do_what_you_love_no_excuses.html
My thought is simply that once one has determined what her passions are, and is determined to follow them then neither grades, scholarships nor meritocracy will be able to determine her level of happiness or her quality of life. I am not going to spend the rest of this post arguing about something as pointless as the definition of happiness or the quality of life, because the answer is all of that is “it depends”. Who is going to give me a definitive description of how I am feeling right now, writing this blog entry that I expect to help me feel better, and save my grades too. Oh, “so you do care about grades”, you are asking.
Of course I do, at least in order to get past the HR clerk that does nothing but minimizing her pains. In contrast, my objective in life is actually to maximize pleasure, through whichever means. Weird as life is, the clerk actually holds the key to my maximizing pleasure somewhere down the road. Not like she gets to decide my happiness but she, like many others, may affect the ultimate outcome. Nonetheless, I don’t take that as a valid reason to let the matters of grades, meritocracy and so on to have too much an impact on how I feel.
Grades are measures put out by a society to support a system of meritocracy. They are just measurements, and in my opinions, a way to make a statistic out of you. They are the outcomes, or the snapshots of the continual stream of life events. They may be the result of a period in someone’s life but definitely not representative of who she is. Should a person be judged solely on a number? Or Rather that person should be looked at as who she has been, is and will be, as a whole?
The moment you decide to listen to your true callings, follow your passions and do what you love, then grades are no longer of importance, not that they are if you don’t. Grades, as well as other outcomes, are not supposed to be what considered the most at the beginning of what is called the Passionate life. So long as you are enjoying what you are doing, making progress, and benefiting others directly and yourself indirectly from it, in various ways, the outcome should not be too much of a concern anymore. Who can really control how your efforts will turn out to be? Maybe only the guy whom your “OMG” exclamation reaches to. So why leave yourself vulnerable to some external factors, why leave your happiness dependent on something you have little control on. Be happy, right here, right now! Direct your most precious resources, namely time and energy, to the activities that reward you the most.
All in all, just feel more, think hard, plan carefully, do your thing, try your best and have no regrets. That seems like how life should be lived.
So, what is Passion anyway? I shall give a brief account of my own on it.
Firstly, a passion should be process-oriented. It is about being in the process and enjoying it rather than the outcome that is promised. You think you know how you feel when you finally get what you want, oh well, you don’t. That is if you get it. What if you don’t? How will you see it, a failure to get what you want, or a success in doing what you love, and learning a lot of life lessons out of the process?
Secondly, a passion should be action-oriented. And the verb in this case ought not to be ‘to get’, ‘to have’ or ‘to be’. A passion may or may not lead to a state of being or possession, but directing one’s time and energy to doing something that rewards her in many ways. In the highest level, passions may even lead to a Flow state, described by Mihaly Csíkszentmihályi in his books. Life is a journey, the more you are in Flow, the more enjoyable the journey is, isn’t it?
Thirdly, not everyone needs passions. They may be the ultimate key to happiness, but they are said to be overrated too. In defense of Passion, I will just quote a know-all wiseman:
Thus, if you are satisfied with an ordinary life with ordinary struggles, ordinary pleasures and ordinary problems, never mind passions. Do not let them come into your life and mess it up. Because of the powerful forces passions can unleash in you, you probably want to just focus on your life and do well what you are expected to. Try your best to get and to have what you desire, and be who you think you want to be. That sounds like a passion itself eh? I am doubtful, but go with it anyway. It’s your life and if you have decide someone else can call the shots for you, it is STILL your life.
Lastly, let me summarize what choosing a Passionate lifestyle has done to me:
A Passionate Choice
It’s always a choice
Of how much noise you wanna make
And what it takes
For you to live your life
I don’t have a living to make
As I don’t care what’s next
It is just me, passionate
About how great it is
How great it is
To have this life to live
To be able to create
Forever alive, something that keeps you
How great it is
To be passionate
And choose to love, not hate
Never to avoid, just approach
How great it is
To not see the truths, still have faith
In things you can’t prove
Such as, mountains can be moved
Everyone can be moved
Once you have decided to
Be driven by what’s inside
Know thyself
And what’s like
To be under spell
Of Passion, Love and Faith
You have been created
Your turn to create
Not to be made
Into something you aint!
Lessons once the connections have been made…
Posted by: anothermamasboy on: February 25, 2010
- In: CS3216 | Mindset | on the edge
- 7 Comments
The truth is I had to leave early during the External Pitching session, which makes it really hard for me to write about it. Another truth was that I felt really bored after the first few presentations. Or maybe it was the pressure of the deadline the day after that forced out any interests I could have had for the presentations. Eventually, I managed to finish up the report, submitted and went to bed before 6am the next day.
Nonetheless, that could work no more for me as I subsequently lost two days zombie-walking in exhaustion due to sleep derivation. Worse still, my report was graded badly. Who else is to blame but the guy who procrastinated and did it in such a last-minute manner.
So, first lesson, last minute efforts are, more often than not, no good. Try to avoid them if possible. I have to admit, that is one of the downsides of the famous can-do spirit and a fearless attitude. If you think you can jump on any boat that goes anywhere and still end up where you want to be, think again. If you think you can fail as many times as possible and still have the energy and courage to go on, no matter what, think again.
Or at least that was how I took the can-do spirit and the fearless attitude for. Through Andy’s filter of experience, a can-do spirit was transformed into a always-do-sure-fail spirit, whereby I chose to do many things I found interesting and hardly got too committed as the interests vaporized shortly. Through Andy’s filter of experience, a fearless attitude was merely the overwhelming fear of losing out on the opportunities that could transform his life. He sure longs for an extraordinary life, tried to find a shortcut at the price of instability and much fluctuation. No more!!!
I was fortunate to see the lesson out of that. I am even more fortunate to have found other lessons in one of the proposals that I downloaded from IVLE, the first one I saw actually. Many things I have been contemplating are in it. It was the powerpoint slides by 6Waves Game Network. It is a shame I was not there to hear them talk.
I am certain there were more than the things on the slides. I am certain I could have learned more from being there. This is not to say I wish to work with them for the final project, but I can ‘feel’ them just by reading the slides and seeing the picture of the three entrepreneurial guys in a small office.
Young, hopeful, talented and hardworking dreamers. That is how I see them. That is how I would love to make myself. To me, their slides was more like teaching than pitching. They must have been comfortable and eager to share what the real world is like for a Facebook game company.
First of all, I felt kinda sad to see that people are actually taking advantage of human beings’ tendency to sin to make money, without thinking twice. What is more worrying to me is that it seems like a “business as usual” thing, no one really pays attention to it as a “not-so-morally-upright” practice. Am I the only one who thinks this could have a far-reaching effect, especially for the worse?
You may be thinking I am just a dreamer, not being acutely aware of the world we are in. The truth is I am a realist to the core. Perhaps I just care enough to give a damn about this matter. It is not really about what people do to succeed. We all know many are capable of doing unbelievable things to achieve what they deem “right” or success. Let’s get real here. Whatever works, I don’t really care what you do to get what you want as long as it does not negatively affect me.
However, the moment people stop trying to be hypocrites and do not even bother to be outwardly moral, something is seriously wrong. That means the social foundation of moral codes is being undermined, and it is the triumph of the capitalist way of profit-making. When society fails, then everyone is affected, I not excluded, that is mainly why I care. I am just as selfish as the next guy.
There are two main things that are attributable to the so-called success of the human race to this day. One is language. The other is the ability to coordinate and create a synergy of working together to achieve one common goal. It is the second one that could be threatened here. Once it is no more socially supported to be good, moral and trustworthy, then we could expect to see a decline of human race. The ones that are making use of our so-called “natural tendency” to sin may argue that they are even helping by providing a small outlet for all the repressed temptations to do evil, like releasing air from an overly inflated tire, lest it bursts. I would say “BS!”. Think about it.
It’s “Entropy”, although I just vaguely know what the word means. In other words, it will never be the same again. Once released, the evil self in each of us will, one step at a time, take control of us and turn us to the dark side. Once you have compromised to do one small little evil thing, you might just be less and less uncomfortable doing bad things the next time you “have to”. If the Karma mechanism is not operating effectively, then it is even harder to observe sinful acts being punished and good acts being rewared, which translates to more and more sins since they give immediate feedback of short-term gain.
On the other hand, even though it is pretty clear that we all have our own dark sides, human nature is still being rigorously studied. And yet, businesspeople are trying to take advantage of our unclear orientation and make profits out of that. Nonetheless, it is the world we are living in. It is capitalism, if you want to survive, then better comply. At the end of the day, it is a personal choice and if you are absolutely certain you can live with it, then go ahead and do it.
Ok, that was a big lesson. Or was it a lesson? No lesson it was. Just a personal yet universal struggle that everyone has to face. My next lesson is probably more relevant and down-to-earth. It is two slides on marketing on Facebook and for a Facebook application. Just In Time! I have been brainstorming for marketing for Treehouse then this comes along.
My job is now to combine the first lesson of picking fewer things to concentrate and making them good, and the basic marketing lesson for the final project. Hoping is not enough this time. Allow me to be superstitious here, all the signs are pointing to one thing: Just do it. It is not Nike I am talking about, but more likely the fact that I need to walk my talk now.
Let’s see…
I should have got some help this time, but I didn’t
Posted by: anothermamasboy on: February 23, 2010
- In: CS3216
- 4 Comments
When I was reading the Get Help case, I thought to myself “Why did I never think of this?!”. The way I see it, this Facebook application aims to leverage on the social-networking feature of Facebook by allowing users to seek help from Facebook friends in their not only their serious projects but also their outlandish endeavors. I immediately went to Facebook to search for the app but could not find it. Maybe it is just not my lucky day, finding the right thing I needed. Or, the app is just in operation no more. So, what are its problems? To be politically correct, everything has problems, it is just whether the problems are lethal enough. Let us look at Get Help
First of all, the intention is good. The app is not meant to be something silly, cool and popular, but something useful and value-adding. The remaining question is whether it could become popular. The funny thing about Facebook is that it defies quite a few popular beliefs. To be more exact, Facebook redefines the term “usefulness” as many popular things on Facebook do not seem at all useful at the first glance. However, never let the first impression fool you.
Likewise, in this case, do not let the impression of the usefulness and coolness factors of Get Help mislead you, like how they did me. Let’s talk design, something I know little of, except for some vague sensible appreciation of beauty in general.
Oh, my first impression of the initial user interface of Get Help is that it is BEAUTIFUL. Intuitive. Clear. Not too simple but users familiar with Facebook should not have a hard time figuring out which icon does what. In short, from the view point of this neither-programmer-nor-designer guy, the interface is fine. But of course, anything could be improved. That is why Get Help could do better with feedback from users. If the developers had already had that user feedback system in control, they could make it more visible.
In terms of options/freedom given to users when posting a need, I would say that it seems appropriate, not too limiting and not too complicated to the extent of confusing people. A user can choose to either “call for help” or “call for quick help”. The thing is, I hardly see how quicker it is to post my need under the “need quick help” section than the usual way. Or maybe I would know if I could actually press the “Call for help” button after filling the text box with “criticizing Get Help”. Or is it me who is confused between the two, are they both for generating a quick help post? One side note, what are the tags for if there does not seem to be a system to keep track of them.
Let me do what I think I do better, talk psychology, in other words, the feasibility of the app. This section will be based on an assumption that the app failed to prove its usefulness and coolness to the extent that it is sustainable. Furthermore, I need to find flaws in Get Help for the sake of my grades, so here goes:
As mentioned above, the intention of Get Help is terrific, which got me thinking why I never thought of it. I am certain many others are also intrigued by the app. That could be its problem, too. Things are obviously awesome are sometimes not so, this is especially true in the fast-changing cyber world.
Get Help seems to target all Facebook users with various needs and issues. Its interface kinda suggests otherwise as, to me, it resembles some of the 37Signals products that are quite work-oriented, such as Basecamp. Meanwhile, Facebook is used to connect people is such a way that many firms are afraid that it could distract employees from their work. It does not seem Facebook is a conducive environment for work-related stuff. Of course, this is arguable.
But that seems to explain the simplistic incentive system. The helpers are just rewarded with badges, high rankings and titles, which are too simple. As a matter of fact, it should depend on what type of help the post is seeking to determine the kind of reward to be given. Furthermore, it should also be determined by the person who has been helped how useful the help has been, and in turn, the rewards.
For that to be possible, Get Help may also want to have a feedback system for the users who has been helped to rate the help she has got, publicly or in private. And wow, that would pose a serious problem as the system may get complex. Think Ebay. This whole thing could become too sophisticated for a Facebook app. Moreover, it may require physical contacts for doing someone a favour to realize itself, beyond the realm of Facebook. It helps that the developers had SMS as one means of communication. Then how would a user’s help be qualified for the stats or for rewarding? This could also go well beyond Facebook’s reach.
All in all, I identify two main issues with Get Help. Firstly, it it too complicated an issue to be implemented the way Get Help was. The developers could have narrowed it down, made it simpler and focused their efforts on a more addressable group of Facebook users. Secondly, the incentive system was too simplistic to be effective in encouraging users to use Get Help. Users spend their time helping others and not getting rewarded in other ways but recognition? In a fast-paced and pragmatic society, this could pose a problem of impracticality. And it is a hard one to fix…
I would pillow-fight for Pillow Fight (CS3216 Facebook App Critique)
Posted by: anothermamasboy on: February 2, 2010
- In: CS3216
- 5 Comments
“What a surprising world”, I could not stop myself from saying that while listening to “What a wonderful world” by Louis Amstrong. The song was a beautiful complement to the amazing sentiment I got from doing extra research on Pillow Fight!. One thing beautiful about this world is that you can always be surprised at how surprising it can get. If Facebook is not enough a phenomenon to take your breath away, it is also a platform for more unbelievable stuns to be pulled off and make you drop your jaws.
After the team had finished their critique on Pillow Fight (PF), I prayed in my mind wishing I would not be picked for writing a blog post on it. Its complexity and beauty blew my mind away instantly, I thought to myself, “it is almost impossible to write a critique on such an app…”. In the end, you get what you hate. I am certain the selection was not random. And if the criterion of matching an app to a person had been sophistication, meaning an avant-garde app should be criticized by a worldly-wise, experienced and savvy person, then it would be a perfect match. Who could be a better critic to write about PF. I did a google search on PF, read some articles and expected that would solve it all.
First of all, if most of the top pages on PF as a Facebook app are complaints and how-to posts on removing and blocking PF, why don’t I just copy and paste the articles, then paraphrase a bit for the credit? But as I said earlier, it is never what it seems, the simplest thing might just be the most beautiful and even the most important in this system of interconnectedness. PF is quintessential of all! It makes me hopeful about my Innovation Program project. If you can still remember, it is a website dedicated to complaining and getting what annoys you solved.
Without PF and its counterparts, then my website would seem so useless with all the products and services created perfectly catered for the right uses to the right users. That world of perfection would be dull and so uninteresting. It is not that my Complain website is up, but PF has certainly inspired me to execute the idea some day, for two reasons.
PFt opens my eyes, as in I am enlightened now. If an app that useless and silly can get so popular with over 600,000 fans and nearly 13,000,000 monthly active users, then it is reasonable for me to expect anything of equal or a bit more of the so-called “uniqueness” to not only survive but also thrive. If this world is about the survival of the fittest, then what am I missing here? What am I not seeing here?
Overall, PF is an astonishingly simple Facebook game that got a sudden surge of popularity over the 2009 Christmas and New Year holidays. It is an app that doubled its number of monthly active users within just one festive week last December. It is an app that made me go “wow… so what does it do anyway?” after having paid full attention to the presentation on it. Okey, it is an app that allows you to throw pillows at your friends, with NO ANIMATION. What else? Err…
It spams your affection out. Noone can explain why the surge in popularity the game has enjoyed lately. But it surely is attributable to the tactics that it uses. PF resembles a game that many of us played in our childhood and still do love to in our adulthood. It is time-sensitive as it forces users to fight back within two days lest they lose the fight. Most essential to its recent wide spread, it fills up users’ Facebook walls with its wall posts, which I love most for the sake of my Complain project. Similar to many other deceiving tricks on Facebook, PF has a mini game that helps spread the game unethically. That is probably the most annoying about PF and why it has also been gaining some notoriety lately.
Nonetheless, I would strongly pillow-fight for Pillow Fight if I had to, pillow-fight only. Not just opening my eyes, PF allows for the existence and prosperity of other services that aim to clean up its mess. Take http://plaint.webnode.com/for example. Haha. Obviously, PF is not too fit an app that should be praised for gaining some traction in the Facebook world. But it also signifies something else. Everything kinda plays a role in the universe. Just like antimatters, PF shows us, as both users and developers how great some other apps are, and what we should be attempting to create.
Yes, what are you trying to create? To create is to bring into existence something that was not there, which is different from the process that things change and evolve by themselves. To create is to break the balance of matters in an area, a space or a territory. To create is to play God with the eyes, hands and minds of human beings. Facebook has made it possible for things that seem useless but somewhat cool to be popular, which might not make sense to many. In school, we have been taught to be good and to be morally upright. When it comes to creating something, it must strictly be ethical, useful and a product of oneself, not one of plagiarism. That is because we are taught that only things of that nature can be socially supported and hence, sustained.
BUT reality teaches us otherwise. It shows us how diverse, unpredictable and random life could be. Despite its uselessness, at least PF is innocent, in the sense that it does not play on human’s so-called vices. Hot or Not, without a doubt, takes advantage of many’s narcissism. Top Friends or Friends For Sale! has been built based on the understanding that people want to be proud of the quantity and the quality of their Facebook friends. In a capitalist society, of which the main purpose is certainly not the good of the mass, it is difficult to assert that it is wrong or unethical to do that. But, from a more humanitarian perspective, in the long run, the promotion of those feelings that have flimsy foundations will only make people that depend on them suffer more.
BUT, it is a competitive world, and business is just another warfare. Choosing to be honest or morally noble is even worse than a choice of surrendering since you still incur a cost of entering the war in the first place. So, what is your choice? What is your philosophy in creating something? If it is something simple, silly and cool, be assured that there are always frivolous people out there who have nothing better to do than clicking on whatever buttons you have on the app. However, think of the consequences of your actions. If I were the developer of PF, I would also have created another app that could clean up the spam mess that PF creates, and, even better, charge users for it. How about that as a business idea?! If you find the thought plausible, then hesitate no more, start ruining the world, now!
BUT, it is a world full of people who want to make a difference, which is the popular rhetoric nowadays. We are supposed to create something useful and beautiful that target a certain addressable market. This too could work. Frivolous people, that are targeted by developers that subscribe to the above philosophy, are also difficult to be targeted as they seem aimless and purposeless. In the case of the apps that aim to be useful by finding people that need them and telling them so, we face a problem of seriousness. Adopting the moral high ground, we criticize things that do not “add value” and use our survivorship bias to glorify the ones that somehow outlast others. Look where the world is going. Is it really heading that direction? At least your conscience leaves you alone at night and you will never blame yourself for having done things so right, in case of failure.
At the end of the day, it is your choice. If you are to build something that lasts, go ahead. Be mindful that you are trying to build something lasting on a volatile and ever-changing platform, a shaky foundation it would seem. If you are to make quick bucks, as a quick fix to your fame and money needs, then go for it. We will only know what is going to replace Facebook when it has. There must be a limit to everything, but so long as it is no where to be seen, why don’t we spread our wings and fly, only by hitting the ceiling will we know it is there.
Sometimes we learn more from what is NOT there. Always do we learn more from failures than successes. Kudos to Pillow Fight and the degree of complexity it has allowed me to go to, in order to analyze it.
Oh, and if you are having some problems with endless Pillow Fight wall posts, check out this page.
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